Tuesday, August 18, 2009

He Is The Same Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

Yesterday was a good day. I had a chance to chat with Drew over the phone for the first time in a few weeks. It was great to hear some of his stories about Guatemala. He shared one very cool experience with me that I won't go into detail about but it kept playing in my mind throughout the rest of the day. Then, last night I had dinner with some new friends whom I am very grateful God has placed in my life. I also was blessed to have one of my old best friends there, Rachel, and it was wonderful getting to see her again for the first time in years!

We spent most of last night sharing each other's testimonies. The conversation went so well that we moved our dinner party from Moe's to Blackhawk for some coffee. There were some really cool stories shared and all of the people I talked to yesterday left me with some things to think about. God really spoke to my heart.

The greatest impact that yesterday's encounters left me with were how awesome it is the way that God plants people in our lives for specific reasons. It really isn't a small world; it's God's power that leads us to different people. If there is something that needs to change in your life you can count on God putting whomever or whatever is necessary there to guide you. I'm not saying I believe EVERY person we come in contact with is led to us by God because the Bible tells us to abstain from all appearances of evil, so obviously there are things/people that did not cross our paths from God. However, He has the power to turn bad things into good, too. Marrying my ex husband may not have been the best idea but I wouldn't have my beautiful son if I hadn't made that choice. Was it God who led me to marry him? I don't think so. In fact, I believe I deliberately disobeyed God by getting married when I did and to whom I did, but the Lord was able to take something wrong in my life and use it for the better. I probably wouldn't be where I'm at in my walk with the Lord if I did not have Gabe. He was my turning point.

The problem is, sometimes we try to force people to fit certain positions in our life when that isn't always God's intentions. I'm going to use a bold example, and I hope nobody minds because I mean this with sincerity... I know without a doubt that God brought Drew back into my life for a reason. He was definitely working behind the scenes in my life through Drew, but on the surface we didn't really wait for God to guide us. At this point, I'm not going to say whether I believe God's will was for us to be in a relationship. It could very well be that He brought Drew into my life just as a friend, and our feelings for each other were simply our fleshly desires. But one thing I do know is that I would still be lost and confused about the Truth if the Lord had not brought Drew my way, again. I learned a lot through him that was necessary to bring me where I needed to be. For that, I will ever be grateful.

Last night also opened up my eyes to how much God is always with me. Not that I didn't already know that, but it was one of those surreal moments where you can feel his presence. For the past two months, I've felt so alone. Literally in the snap of a finger, I lost everybody that was close to me. I didn't quite understand it because it all happened at the same time that I started putting more effort into my walk with God. It had been very hard for me, having no one to really open up to anymore. I began having some pretty severe anxiety attacks, I was struggling hard to keep my patience with Gabe, etc. But I wasn't going to let Satan win the battle. I wasn't going to let this feeling of abandonment force me to abandon my God yet again. And Christ kept me reminded that He loved me through it all and that He would never leave my side. Because of my faithfulness, God replaced the emptiness in my heart with new friends. Technically, some of them are old friends renewed. I've only known most of them for a few weeks and already I feel a bond with them. The fellowship I have with these people have been such a help for me to pull out of my depression and keep me encouraged. They genuinely care about me, and I can't begin to tell you how much I needed that. God searched my heart, He knew what I needed, and He was faithful to bring it to me. I long to be His faithful servant for all of eternity. Amen.

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