What a bundle of emotions 2010 has been for me, and my family!
In February, I decided to take a break from school and go back to work full time.
In March, I got a job at Hairclub and life took off from there.
By April, Gabe and I were moving into our own apartment and I was gaining my independence back. But I was also saying goodbye to the man I loved who was going back to his home country, Ireland.
Come June, my beautiful Aunt Donna passed away in England where she had lived for the last couple years of her life with her new and wonderful husband, David, who took such great care of his bride. We celebrated her life when David was able to come over with her ashes in July.
Also in July, we celebrated my handsome little boy's 4th birthday, as well as my life-long best friend Heather Shanahan (Flower's) wedding!
Come August, Gabe started school (Pre K) and I bought my new, beautiful 2009 G6 GT!
September and October were pretty quiet for the most part, with the exception of some family health issues beginning to come to light for us.
In November, I stood in the airport and watched my favorite man return to me from Ireland. That was probably the happiest moment in 2010 for me. But very shortly after his return, my Me'Me' (Grandmother) took a turn for the worst and we started losing her quickly.
December 1st, I lost one of the most treasured people in my life, my Me'Me'. She was one of my solid rocks, one of my greatest inspirations, and one of the strongest women I knew. She told me in a journal that she wrote to me ("Grandmothers Memories for Her Grandchildren") that I didn't remind her of anyone else in the family because I was my own special and unique person. Though there is some truth to that, I also believe that I had quite a bit of her and my Aunt Donna in me-- free spirited, hard headed, stubborn, and fun loving. I told my Me'Me' the night before she passed that I would come back to see her the next day. She couldn't talk but she blew me a kiss and waved goodbye as if to say, "no you won't." I thought I had one more chance to see her before we had to say goodbye, but I never did. My Me'Me' fell asleep in Jesus the next day, holding the "apple of her eye," my daddy's hand. I know I wasn't raised to believe that when you die you immediately go to Heaven, but I can feel my Me'Me' with me now. Maybe it's just that she is buried so deep in my heart that it feels like she is right here with me.
We buried my beautiful Me'Me' a week ago today, on December 5th. The very next day, my Uncle Johnny passed away in Hope Hospice. I wasn't as close to him as I was my Me'Me' and Aunt Donna, but I sure did love him so much! I actually grew closer to him in the last year of his life, and I enjoyed every minute that I got to spend with him.
My heart hurts for these losses, but it hurts even more for my family, especially Heather who flew to England to see her mom for a few days, knowing they would be her last days with her mama... she then sat by her dad's side almost every minute of his last days and was there to watch both him and our Me'Me' pass. What a strong, wonderful woman she is. This year, I lost my beloved Aunt, Uncle, and Me'Me'... but Heather and Ryan lost their beloved Mother, Father, and Me'Me'. I see the hurt in all of my family and I wish so badly that I could take it all away... just like that.
I thought I was going to have something more to write. Something long and beautiful, like most of my blogs turn out to be. But I am coming to a loss for words.
My heart is hurting with all of the pain that has gone on in the Fontaine Family, especially right at this holiday season. And yet, my heart hasn't been this happy in a long time, with my beautiful son growing into such a WONDERFUL little boy, and my handsome boyfriend by my side, who has been so good to me in these hard times. God has given me these joys in life in order to keep me from getting depressed from the rest. And I know he has done the same for the rest of my family too. We are blessed to still have each other, and we are a very strong family full of more love than most people will ever know or experience in their life. No money, wealth, or fame could ever come close to comparing to the strength and beauty in the Fontaine Family. Even when we were across the world from each other, our family stayed close. The ones we lost have helped to make our family as great as it is today and they will continue to live on in our hearts. I love you, Me'Me', Aunt Donna, and Uncle Johnny. You will never be forgotten. This Christmas will not be the same, as well as the rest to come.
Bring on the new year! Let's embrace 2011 with as much love and peace as possible!
---
SHADOW OF THE DAY - Linkin Park
In cards and flowers on your window
Your friends all plead for you to stay
Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple
Sometimes good bye's the only way
[Chorus]
And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you...
---
WAITING FOR THE END - Linkin Park
Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It’s out of my control
Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It’s hard to let you go
