As I've been growing more in the Lord my standards for dating have become even higher. I thought that the list I posted a few months ago was as high as it could get, but since then I've discovered more to be added to my list. It's good to refresh ourselves like this.
As usual, I was reading my new favorite book Lady In Waiting this morning, and once again, the Lord assured me that He was present in my life.
"... The issue of standards is most relevant, but may seem simplistic. We acknowledge that some women find it difficult to raise their standards and change their patterns because they are still entangled in the past. Unresolved conflicts with a father, brother, or an ex-boyfriend may overshadow and control the attraction to Bozos. In this case we suggest a possible date fast, a period of time during which you refrain from accepting another date until you can sort out some of the unresolved conflicts from the past. This method has been used by many single women who have been entangled with old dating patterns. During the "date fast," they find time to search for new ways of relating and dating biblically..."
AMEN to all of that! Although I am ahead of this paragraph (already 4 months into my dating fast and still going strong--time flies!), it was a great affirmation that I am on the right track. Likewise, it was an encouragement for me to be reminded that I am not sailing this "broken heart" ship across the waters on my own--there are plenty of other females on the ship with me (men get their own ship), and our Lord God is the captain of it. Following our Lord's course will bring us to the healing waters where our "Boaz" (rather than "Bozo") will find us. After all, we know that typically if a bunch of women were left in a boat to fend for themselves, they'd end up sinking... that same basic idea goes for women in the dating scenario. When we try to control our love life, we end up sinking. If we just let God control it we would not have to put even half of the effort into working for it as we have in our past, unhealthy relationships.
"... Do you want to marry a knight in shining armor? Then set your standards high. To be married to a man who loves the Lord and wants to serve Him is one of life's highest privileges. It is worth whatever wait, whatever cost. Nail down your convictions and refuse to compromise by dating men who are not controlled by God's Holy Spirit. These standards will stand guard over the castle of your heart. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life..."
On that note, here is my updated list (in no particular order) [for anybody who does not have a Bible but is curious to look up these verses, go to BibleGateway.com]:
I WANT:
*To be respectfully pursued by a Godly man; I will no longer do the pursuing (the "hunt" is over). (Ruth 3:10-11)
*To watch love grow between me and a friend, not someone I just met. (Proverbs 17:17)
*To be truly loved (the "RIGHT" way) and to learn to respect a man better. (Ephesians 5:33)
*To have a man who will take time out to study the word and pray with me so we can grow spiritually together. (Matthew 18:19-20)
*To be equally yoked.(2 Corinthians 6:14-15)
*Someone who will do service for others and go on mission trips with me; he puts the needs of others ahead of his own (Philippians 2:3-4).
*A man whose life reflects the joy of the Lord rather than the burdens of being a Christian (John 15:11).
*To be admired for the woman I am on the inside, not on the outside. (1 Peter 3:2-5, 1 Sam. 16:7)
*To get out and do things! Reserving money is essential, but quality time is important too. And that's not just sitting in the living room doing nothing all day.
*Someone who is truly committed, and once I am made a priority in their life I will remain in that spot, not allowing others to come before me (not including God who must be made first in his life--see below). (Ezekiel 14:2-4)
*Someone who makes God top priority in his life, above everything and everyone, including myself... I know I'm repeating myself, but I'm emphasizing the importance of it! (Proverbs 3:6)
*A man who follows through on his God-given responsibilities (1 Corinthians 4:2).
*A man who understands the depth of feelings and emotions (Colossians 3:12).
*A man who will not take advantage of my son's love. His love is one of the greatest blessings in life; not one to be tampered with. (Matthew 18:3-4)
*Someone who will walk with me even when I make mistakes, understanding that they make mistakes as well and I will continue to walk by their side too. (Romans 3:22-24, Proverbs 17:17-18)
*A man who wants to share his life with me rather than replace me with new and exciting things that come his way. (Mark 10:7-9)
*A man of humility. (2 Chronicles 7:14, Psalm 25:9)
*Someone who isn't afraid to love me and knows he can trust me.(1 Corinthians 13:7)
*A Spiritual Leader. (Ephesians 5:22-24)
*Someone who stands for what is right, even if it's against his own friends and family with no exception for myself. He hates anything contrary to God's Holy character, including the subtle things and not just the obvious. (Romans 2:9-10)
*A man who will love me as Christ loved the Church. (Ephesians 5:25, 28-29)
*A man who will help me raise my son/children with the same values and morals that I believe in, understanding that the example they set is the strongest influence they could have on the child. (Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4)
*A man who will still look into my eyes with much love and admiration 10, 25, and 50 years after being together. (1 Corinthians 13:8,13)
*Someone who is beyond the stage of "finding themselves." That's doesn't mean they have to be set in their long-term career, sure of where they will live, or already own a house, etc--those things are led by God and could be changed at any point in a person's life. However, they must be sure that they are mature and responsible enough for a relationship before already making the commitment; in other words, he needs to be 100% sure of whether my son and I fit into his life BEFORE letting us in. I will not stand for my son's heart to be broken again. (Proverbs 20:24-25)
*Someone who means it when he says "forever." (Ecclesiastes 5:4-6)
*Someone who doesn't lose faith in us and always fights for our relationship along with me, no matter how challenging it may get. (1 Corinthians 13:7)
*Someone who doesn't try to make me feel guilty every time I'm hurt, or consciously provoke me to be even more upset. (Hebrews 10:24)
*A man who will always keep open communication with me, so that I can learn how to give him what he needs from me better. (Proverbs 18:2)
*Support and encouragement. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
*Someone who lifts me up in prayer every day, throughout the day, and on his own, free will (not out of obligation, but out of love and true concern for my well-being). (James 5:16)
*A loyal man. (Proverbs 18:24)
*Someone who doesn't let distance or time break us, should it ever become an issue. (Genesis 31:49, Joshua 1:9)
*Someone who values the family God gave him; is content and does not look for more than what the Lord has blessed Him with. (Ecclesiastes 5:18-20)
*A man who flees temptations to compromises, and encourages me to do the same (Proverbs 25:28).
*A man who truly listens to me; demonstrates that he pays attention to my wants and needs. Whether he can provide them for me is not the point--what matters is that he cares about my life, dreams, goals, etc. just as much as his own. (1 Timothy 5:8)
*A man who will hold me accountable for my own actions, temptations, behavior, sins, etc. (Galatians 6:1-2)
*A man who accepts that I'm not a very good cook, but I try. (:
*Someone who has a true relationship with God, spending time alone with Him on a daily basis. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
*A man of prayer. (Matthew 21:21-22)
*An imperfect man who tries to be as perfect and blameless in the sight of God. (Mark 10:18, 2 Peter 3:14)
*A man who believes that "divorce" is not a word in his vocabulary. (Malachi 2:16)
I *DON'T* WANT:
*A man to use my son as a way to get to my heart, it's a turn off. (Colossians 3:22-25)
*Someone willing to break mine and my son's heart in order to save himself from heartache. (Proverbs 18:1, Philippians 2:3-4, James 3:14-16)
*A man who makes promises without fulfillment. (Psalm 15:4)
*Someone who holds grudges. (Leviticus 19:18)
*A man full of pride for himself. (James 4:6, Proverbs 8:13, Proverbs 11:2, Proverbs 13:10, Proverbs 16:18, Proverbs 21:24, Proverbs 29:23)
*To be treated as a piece of meat. (Matthew 5:28)
*To have to compete for his attention.
*A man who drinks, not even socially. (Proverbs 20:1)
*Anyone who thinks "boys will be boys" is an okay motto to live by.
*A man who pursues other women at the same time that he is pursuing me, no matter how great or small the degree of the pursuance. He's either interested in me or someone else, but he can't be interested in both/all of us. It is a sign of immaturity, insecurity, lack of trust for God, and it leaves no room for the Lord to provide answers about one woman when he sets his eyes on multiple women. This also gives me, as a woman, a warning that the man may not be faithful/loyal. To put it bluntly, this clues me in that the man could be a player and not interested in either woman for the right reason, though he may have himself deceived that leaving his options open is okay and shouldn't be offensive to any of the women involved. (Ephesians 4:17-25, 1 Thessalonians 4:2-7)
*A man who takes the Lord's name in vain, both verbally and in the way he lives his life (i.e. claims the name of Christ but does not put 100% into trying to live a Christian life). (Matthew 15:8-9)
*A man who believes He is holier than others, regardless of how long He has been in the faith or what position He holds in the church. (Mark 10:18)
*Someone who is hasty to take advice, even from family and friends, without challenging it biblically to see whether the advice is holy or destructive. In other words, a man who trusts unwise counsel even from fellow Christians, and will follow after a wolf in sheep's clothing without questioning. Obviously I understand that we all make mistakes/wrong choices, but the point is that he must be slow and careful to receiving anybody's advice no matter how "right" it may seem. (Proverbs 12:15-16, Proverbs 14:7-8&15, Proverbs 16:1-2, 8-9,&16-25, Proverbs 27:5-6, &8-14, Acts 20:28-31, Romans 16:17-18, 1 Corinthians 3:1-3, Matthew 7:15-23, Mark10:7-9)
*A man who doesn't make an effort to take time out for me; that's not to say he must spend his entire time devoted to me. However, a successful relationship requires a certain level of priority which in turn requires some invested time. (1 Peter 3:7)
*A man who shares our personal issues with all of his friends and family (Proverbs 16:28, *20:19,* Matthew 18:15)
---
I'M NOT WHO I WAS
by Brandon Heath
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was
I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so
I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you
I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was
I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello
Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
(In)secure Love
Reading this section came to me at the perfect time (earlier this week), enough said. This is, once again, from a book called Lady In Waiting by Jackie Kendall
Chapter 7 - "Lady of Security"
"Then he [Boaz] said, 'May you be blessed of the Lord, my daughter. You have shown your last kindness to be better thant he first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich. Now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence." Ruth 3:10-11
Ruth--single, young, and widowed--must have experienced the lonely longings for the warmth of a husband. But she lived in victory over the desire to "man hunt." Istead of "going after the boys," she sat still and let God bring her prince to her. She was a Lady of Security.
FEELINGS OF INSECURITY
Why do women tend to "go after the guys"? Why do women experience difficulty being still and waiting for the man to initiate and develop the relationship? You find the answer in one word: insecurity. An insecure woman has her world centered on something (marriage) or someone (Mr. Right) that can be lost or taken away. Insecurity keeps a woman from experiencing consistent joy even within a relationship because a man cannot provide security, only God can.
Insecurity causes you to cling to a relationship. You feel a lack of confidence unless you have a man. When he is not with you, you fear he will not come back or call again. You want him to make a commitment so you will not lose him. You want all his time and attention. All your dreams, plans, and goals revolve around him. Insecurity in a relationship can cause jealousy and bickering. It makes you lose your confidence when he looks at another woman. You want to know his plans and with whom he spends his time. You don't want him to be around other interesting or attractive women; you feel threatened when he is.
Insecurity can cause you to be demanding and have unrealistic expectations of your relationship. When he hurts or dissapoints you, you can be upset for days. You live with the fear of doing the wrong thing and losing him. You constantly feel the need to "define" your relationship and talk about your love for each other. You feel that you must show your love for him in greater and greater ways.
Insecurity fills the relationship with frustration and worry. You think, "I can't live with or without him!" You find yourself scheming to keep him...
BELIEVING A LIE
Why do women feel they have to go after men? Many women have believed a lie. They think, "I must get the best for myself because God may not give it to me." What do you think would have been the outcome of Ruth's life if she had chosen to believe this lie? Would she have returned home with Orpah and married one of the local guys? Would she have followed Naomi to a new land, but taken control of her own destiny in choosing a mate to care for herself and her mother-in-law? With these poor choices, her life of blessing and joy found in Boaz would not have happened and we would have missed the blessing of a book such as Ruth.
Ladies, God gives you the choice between His plans and yours. In the midst of her circumstances, Ruth could not have possibly seen that a man like Boaz would one day be her prince. Neither can you with your limited perspective see who or where your prince will be. Only God has all things in view. Are you trying to control your own life? Are you making plans for your life that only God should make? Don't settle for less than God's best. Surrender the terrible burden of always needing life on your terms. Don't look back one day and regret that you made your "life mate" choice from a limited perspective because you longed for the security of a relationship. God can and will give you His best if you wait for it.
MANIPULATION AND MANEUVERING
When you see a woman going after the guys, you probably don't immediately say, "Yes, I see that she really is insecure!" Insecurity dwells in the heart. What you see outwardly is a woman's age-old ability to manipulate and maneuver. When a woman manipulates a situation, she feels personal satisfaction because she believes she is in control...
Manipulation and maneuvering can also take the form of serving as a "surrogate (substitute) helpmeet." Many women want to marry as badly as they want to go to Heaven. They long to care for a man, so they run around tying to find at least a "generic" version of the real thing. These precious (but deceived) women constantly look for a man with a need and pounce on that need in hopes of eventually winning the affection of the man. Any male in need irresistibly attracts them...
MOTIVE CHECK
This is not to say that you cannot do nice things for a man; it is simply a warning to check your motives. A woman with selfish motivation mentally plots the next maneuver to capture the attention of the man of her dreams. Before you go to another activity to spend time with the available guys, as you check your hair and makeup and teeth, give yourself a thorough "heart flossing." Ask the Lord to reveal any impure motive that resides in your heart. Before you bake one more thing for a brother or purchase one more book or meaningful card, be very careful to check your motive and honestly respond to whatever the Lord shows you. You can save yourself many tears and much frustration if you are just willing to do a regular "motive check" on your heart.
To keep your motives pure, check them daily. Proverbs 16:2 says, "All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord."
Manipulation and maneuvering can be deadly. If you maneuver to get a man, you will have to maneuver to keep him! This is not implying that there is no work involved in a good relationship, but there is a huge difference between working and maneuvering. You recognize the difference between the two by discerning your motives. Refuse to be a member of the M/M (Manipulation and Maneuvering) Team!
Chapter 7 - "Lady of Security"
"Then he [Boaz] said, 'May you be blessed of the Lord, my daughter. You have shown your last kindness to be better thant he first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich. Now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence." Ruth 3:10-11
Ruth--single, young, and widowed--must have experienced the lonely longings for the warmth of a husband. But she lived in victory over the desire to "man hunt." Istead of "going after the boys," she sat still and let God bring her prince to her. She was a Lady of Security.
FEELINGS OF INSECURITY
Why do women tend to "go after the guys"? Why do women experience difficulty being still and waiting for the man to initiate and develop the relationship? You find the answer in one word: insecurity. An insecure woman has her world centered on something (marriage) or someone (Mr. Right) that can be lost or taken away. Insecurity keeps a woman from experiencing consistent joy even within a relationship because a man cannot provide security, only God can.
Insecurity causes you to cling to a relationship. You feel a lack of confidence unless you have a man. When he is not with you, you fear he will not come back or call again. You want him to make a commitment so you will not lose him. You want all his time and attention. All your dreams, plans, and goals revolve around him. Insecurity in a relationship can cause jealousy and bickering. It makes you lose your confidence when he looks at another woman. You want to know his plans and with whom he spends his time. You don't want him to be around other interesting or attractive women; you feel threatened when he is.
Insecurity can cause you to be demanding and have unrealistic expectations of your relationship. When he hurts or dissapoints you, you can be upset for days. You live with the fear of doing the wrong thing and losing him. You constantly feel the need to "define" your relationship and talk about your love for each other. You feel that you must show your love for him in greater and greater ways.
Insecurity fills the relationship with frustration and worry. You think, "I can't live with or without him!" You find yourself scheming to keep him...
BELIEVING A LIE
Why do women feel they have to go after men? Many women have believed a lie. They think, "I must get the best for myself because God may not give it to me." What do you think would have been the outcome of Ruth's life if she had chosen to believe this lie? Would she have returned home with Orpah and married one of the local guys? Would she have followed Naomi to a new land, but taken control of her own destiny in choosing a mate to care for herself and her mother-in-law? With these poor choices, her life of blessing and joy found in Boaz would not have happened and we would have missed the blessing of a book such as Ruth.
Ladies, God gives you the choice between His plans and yours. In the midst of her circumstances, Ruth could not have possibly seen that a man like Boaz would one day be her prince. Neither can you with your limited perspective see who or where your prince will be. Only God has all things in view. Are you trying to control your own life? Are you making plans for your life that only God should make? Don't settle for less than God's best. Surrender the terrible burden of always needing life on your terms. Don't look back one day and regret that you made your "life mate" choice from a limited perspective because you longed for the security of a relationship. God can and will give you His best if you wait for it.
MANIPULATION AND MANEUVERING
When you see a woman going after the guys, you probably don't immediately say, "Yes, I see that she really is insecure!" Insecurity dwells in the heart. What you see outwardly is a woman's age-old ability to manipulate and maneuver. When a woman manipulates a situation, she feels personal satisfaction because she believes she is in control...
Manipulation and maneuvering can also take the form of serving as a "surrogate (substitute) helpmeet." Many women want to marry as badly as they want to go to Heaven. They long to care for a man, so they run around tying to find at least a "generic" version of the real thing. These precious (but deceived) women constantly look for a man with a need and pounce on that need in hopes of eventually winning the affection of the man. Any male in need irresistibly attracts them...
MOTIVE CHECK
This is not to say that you cannot do nice things for a man; it is simply a warning to check your motives. A woman with selfish motivation mentally plots the next maneuver to capture the attention of the man of her dreams. Before you go to another activity to spend time with the available guys, as you check your hair and makeup and teeth, give yourself a thorough "heart flossing." Ask the Lord to reveal any impure motive that resides in your heart. Before you bake one more thing for a brother or purchase one more book or meaningful card, be very careful to check your motive and honestly respond to whatever the Lord shows you. You can save yourself many tears and much frustration if you are just willing to do a regular "motive check" on your heart.
To keep your motives pure, check them daily. Proverbs 16:2 says, "All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord."
Manipulation and maneuvering can be deadly. If you maneuver to get a man, you will have to maneuver to keep him! This is not implying that there is no work involved in a good relationship, but there is a huge difference between working and maneuvering. You recognize the difference between the two by discerning your motives. Refuse to be a member of the M/M (Manipulation and Maneuvering) Team!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Kisses For My Man
I love my morning time with God, and after this morning I knew I had to write a blog because I'm filled with so much peace and happiness right now. As many of you know, I've been struggling with letting go of past relationships for the last few months. I have prayed numerous times, literally on my knees and my face, pouring my heart out for God to take this pain away from me (as well as my son). We've had better days and worse days but I never let go of God and always trusted that He would work things out for both Gabe and I for the better, however that may be.
In the past week my heart has gradually let go of what I've been needing to let go of for a while. I can't explain why or how, but I do know that God's timing is perfect and He had a reason for waiting until this week to begin the healing process for me. My eyes have been opened to a lot of things and I've grown wiser about the situation. I am not filled with sorrow, I'm no longer scared to let go, and I am excited to see what God has planned for me next though I will wait patiently on Him. It is also a relief to see my son letting go, which makes the process for me a lot easier to accept. I still believe that if God willed it, it would happen. But I now see that there is a lot of growth that must develop first before that could ever happen and I'm not going to continue sitting around waiting to see if it will.
As I was reading in my book "Lady In Waiting" this morning, some really great verses popped out at me that I felt like sharing. I pray that they speak to you in whatever you're going through like they did to me.
"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, some how, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained." Philippians 3:10-16
"...But you have burdened me with your sins and wearied me with your offenses. I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case of your innocence." Isaiah 43:24-26
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons... No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees." Hebrews 12:1-8, 11-12
"Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God - I say this to your shame." 1 Corinthians 15:33-34
Finally, as one of our "homework projects" in the book, my assignment this morning was to "Write out what a kiss means to you. What are you wanting to say when you kiss a man? Is there any other way to say this? How could adding physical affection to a friendship limit communication-building?" I didn't answer this word-for-word, but I did write out my thoughts about kissing. Ladies, I thought you might appreciate reading what I wrote and could possibly relate and add to it via comments on my facebook posting. Men, I figured you may appreciate understanding what goes on in a woman's mind sometimes, if you truly care to know.;)
"Even though I have failed my own values I still believe that a kiss should not be given to just anybody; it is a sign of deep affection between a man and woman. A kiss must be trusted to the receiver, not to take the love it holds for granted. Every kiss that I have given has been taken for granted. For if it wasn't, I would still have that man to kiss today. Too many people throw kisses around that it has lost its value for many, even I have been found guilty of that. But God created it to be a passionate and sincere action, to show love to our brothers, our sisters, our parents, our children, our friends, and especially our spouse. When I kiss my husband some day, I will be showing him my loyalty and trust for him. In just one kiss, I will feel safe and secure with him. I have felt this with more than one man already, which shows how misleading a kiss can be if it is not led by God. In order to avoid making that same heart breaking mistake again, from now on I will entrust my heart to God and not to a man. I will save all of my kisses for the man whom God has revealed to me as the one that I share my life with. And when he kisses me, he will feel the same fire that I do and he'll never have the desire to kiss another woman again because our love will be centered around the Lord our God and not our lustful flesh."
In the past week my heart has gradually let go of what I've been needing to let go of for a while. I can't explain why or how, but I do know that God's timing is perfect and He had a reason for waiting until this week to begin the healing process for me. My eyes have been opened to a lot of things and I've grown wiser about the situation. I am not filled with sorrow, I'm no longer scared to let go, and I am excited to see what God has planned for me next though I will wait patiently on Him. It is also a relief to see my son letting go, which makes the process for me a lot easier to accept. I still believe that if God willed it, it would happen. But I now see that there is a lot of growth that must develop first before that could ever happen and I'm not going to continue sitting around waiting to see if it will.
As I was reading in my book "Lady In Waiting" this morning, some really great verses popped out at me that I felt like sharing. I pray that they speak to you in whatever you're going through like they did to me.
"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, some how, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained." Philippians 3:10-16
"...But you have burdened me with your sins and wearied me with your offenses. I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case of your innocence." Isaiah 43:24-26
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons... No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees." Hebrews 12:1-8, 11-12
"Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God - I say this to your shame." 1 Corinthians 15:33-34
Finally, as one of our "homework projects" in the book, my assignment this morning was to "Write out what a kiss means to you. What are you wanting to say when you kiss a man? Is there any other way to say this? How could adding physical affection to a friendship limit communication-building?" I didn't answer this word-for-word, but I did write out my thoughts about kissing. Ladies, I thought you might appreciate reading what I wrote and could possibly relate and add to it via comments on my facebook posting. Men, I figured you may appreciate understanding what goes on in a woman's mind sometimes, if you truly care to know.;)
"Even though I have failed my own values I still believe that a kiss should not be given to just anybody; it is a sign of deep affection between a man and woman. A kiss must be trusted to the receiver, not to take the love it holds for granted. Every kiss that I have given has been taken for granted. For if it wasn't, I would still have that man to kiss today. Too many people throw kisses around that it has lost its value for many, even I have been found guilty of that. But God created it to be a passionate and sincere action, to show love to our brothers, our sisters, our parents, our children, our friends, and especially our spouse. When I kiss my husband some day, I will be showing him my loyalty and trust for him. In just one kiss, I will feel safe and secure with him. I have felt this with more than one man already, which shows how misleading a kiss can be if it is not led by God. In order to avoid making that same heart breaking mistake again, from now on I will entrust my heart to God and not to a man. I will save all of my kisses for the man whom God has revealed to me as the one that I share my life with. And when he kisses me, he will feel the same fire that I do and he'll never have the desire to kiss another woman again because our love will be centered around the Lord our God and not our lustful flesh."
Saturday, October 17, 2009
We Still Must Make Sacrifices
I have been wanting to post about the sermon I heard last weekend, but school has kept me tangled up. Even now I'm having to set some studying aside in order to write this but I felt like I need to stop putting it off.
The message I heard was powerful. At least it spoke directly to my heart about a lot of things. It really gave me a new perspective on some things in my own life, and hopefully it will do the same for those of you reading this. I'll just copy the outline from my notes and hopefully you will able to follow along with it:
sermon: PREFER ONE ANOTHER
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:9-10
I) THE ATTITUDE OF PREFERING ONE ANOTHER
A) Prioritizing others - stop being selfish, self-centered, self-focused
1 Pet 4:10: "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms."
Proverbs 11:24-25: "One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but coes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes other will himself be refreshed."
Matthew 7:12: "So in evertyhing, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."
1 Cor 10:23-24: "'Everything is permissable' - but no everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible' - but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others."
Ephesians 4:29 & 32: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen... Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forigiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you."
Philippians 2:1-11, key is verses 3-5: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."
B) Dying to ourselves - get over ourselves
1 John 3:16 & 18: "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers... Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
C) Enjoy a healthy self-image - be balanced in your life.
How to maintain a healthy self-image:
1)Be comfortable in who you are IN JESUS CHRIST
2)Be confident in your relationship WITH JESUS CHRIST
3)Be secure in your FUTURE
II) THE ACTIONS OF PREFERING ONE ANOTHER
1) Be a listener and a learner.
2) Become PEOPLE oriented instead of TASK oriented.
William Gladstone, prime minister of the UK, began dating a woman and invited her to escort him to a party. At this party, he got caught up in discussing business with other people so much that he ended up asking his friend Benjamin Disraeli to make sure that his girlfriend gets home safely. Naturally, not long after the night that Benjamin drove this woman home, she ended her relationship with William and began dating Benjamin; a man who listened to her and made an extra effort to pay attention to her. When asked what made her choose to switch the guy she was dating, she answered, "With William, all I could think was, 'what a lucky guy he is!' But with Benjamin, all I could think was, 'what a lucky girl I am!'
3) Gain the rewards.
James 4:10: "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."
"The best growth God gives us is through our sacrifices for others."
The message I heard was powerful. At least it spoke directly to my heart about a lot of things. It really gave me a new perspective on some things in my own life, and hopefully it will do the same for those of you reading this. I'll just copy the outline from my notes and hopefully you will able to follow along with it:
sermon: PREFER ONE ANOTHER
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:9-10
I) THE ATTITUDE OF PREFERING ONE ANOTHER
A) Prioritizing others - stop being selfish, self-centered, self-focused
1 Pet 4:10: "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms."
Proverbs 11:24-25: "One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but coes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes other will himself be refreshed."
Matthew 7:12: "So in evertyhing, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."
1 Cor 10:23-24: "'Everything is permissable' - but no everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible' - but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others."
Ephesians 4:29 & 32: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen... Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forigiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you."
Philippians 2:1-11, key is verses 3-5: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."
B) Dying to ourselves - get over ourselves
1 John 3:16 & 18: "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers... Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
also read John 13:1-5
C) Enjoy a healthy self-image - be balanced in your life.
How to maintain a healthy self-image:
1)Be comfortable in who you are IN JESUS CHRIST
2)Be confident in your relationship WITH JESUS CHRIST
3)Be secure in your FUTURE
II) THE ACTIONS OF PREFERING ONE ANOTHER
1) Be a listener and a learner.
2) Become PEOPLE oriented instead of TASK oriented.
William Gladstone, prime minister of the UK, began dating a woman and invited her to escort him to a party. At this party, he got caught up in discussing business with other people so much that he ended up asking his friend Benjamin Disraeli to make sure that his girlfriend gets home safely. Naturally, not long after the night that Benjamin drove this woman home, she ended her relationship with William and began dating Benjamin; a man who listened to her and made an extra effort to pay attention to her. When asked what made her choose to switch the guy she was dating, she answered, "With William, all I could think was, 'what a lucky guy he is!' But with Benjamin, all I could think was, 'what a lucky girl I am!'
3) Gain the rewards.
James 4:10: "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."
"The best growth God gives us is through our sacrifices for others."
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