As I've been growing more in the Lord my standards for dating have become even higher. I thought that the list I posted a few months ago was as high as it could get, but since then I've discovered more to be added to my list. It's good to refresh ourselves like this.
As usual, I was reading my new favorite book Lady In Waiting this morning, and once again, the Lord assured me that He was present in my life.
"... The issue of standards is most relevant, but may seem simplistic. We acknowledge that some women find it difficult to raise their standards and change their patterns because they are still entangled in the past. Unresolved conflicts with a father, brother, or an ex-boyfriend may overshadow and control the attraction to Bozos. In this case we suggest a possible date fast, a period of time during which you refrain from accepting another date until you can sort out some of the unresolved conflicts from the past. This method has been used by many single women who have been entangled with old dating patterns. During the "date fast," they find time to search for new ways of relating and dating biblically..."
AMEN to all of that! Although I am ahead of this paragraph (already 4 months into my dating fast and still going strong--time flies!), it was a great affirmation that I am on the right track. Likewise, it was an encouragement for me to be reminded that I am not sailing this "broken heart" ship across the waters on my own--there are plenty of other females on the ship with me (men get their own ship), and our Lord God is the captain of it. Following our Lord's course will bring us to the healing waters where our "Boaz" (rather than "Bozo") will find us. After all, we know that typically if a bunch of women were left in a boat to fend for themselves, they'd end up sinking... that same basic idea goes for women in the dating scenario. When we try to control our love life, we end up sinking. If we just let God control it we would not have to put even half of the effort into working for it as we have in our past, unhealthy relationships.
"... Do you want to marry a knight in shining armor? Then set your standards high. To be married to a man who loves the Lord and wants to serve Him is one of life's highest privileges. It is worth whatever wait, whatever cost. Nail down your convictions and refuse to compromise by dating men who are not controlled by God's Holy Spirit. These standards will stand guard over the castle of your heart. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life..."
On that note, here is my updated list (in no particular order) [for anybody who does not have a Bible but is curious to look up these verses, go to BibleGateway.com]:
I WANT:
*To be respectfully pursued by a Godly man; I will no longer do the pursuing (the "hunt" is over). (Ruth 3:10-11)
*To watch love grow between me and a friend, not someone I just met. (Proverbs 17:17)
*To be truly loved (the "RIGHT" way) and to learn to respect a man better. (Ephesians 5:33)
*To have a man who will take time out to study the word and pray with me so we can grow spiritually together. (Matthew 18:19-20)
*To be equally yoked.(2 Corinthians 6:14-15)
*Someone who will do service for others and go on mission trips with me; he puts the needs of others ahead of his own (Philippians 2:3-4).
*A man whose life reflects the joy of the Lord rather than the burdens of being a Christian (John 15:11).
*To be admired for the woman I am on the inside, not on the outside. (1 Peter 3:2-5, 1 Sam. 16:7)
*To get out and do things! Reserving money is essential, but quality time is important too. And that's not just sitting in the living room doing nothing all day.
*Someone who is truly committed, and once I am made a priority in their life I will remain in that spot, not allowing others to come before me (not including God who must be made first in his life--see below). (Ezekiel 14:2-4)
*Someone who makes God top priority in his life, above everything and everyone, including myself... I know I'm repeating myself, but I'm emphasizing the importance of it! (Proverbs 3:6)
*A man who follows through on his God-given responsibilities (1 Corinthians 4:2).
*A man who understands the depth of feelings and emotions (Colossians 3:12).
*A man who will not take advantage of my son's love. His love is one of the greatest blessings in life; not one to be tampered with. (Matthew 18:3-4)
*Someone who will walk with me even when I make mistakes, understanding that they make mistakes as well and I will continue to walk by their side too. (Romans 3:22-24, Proverbs 17:17-18)
*A man who wants to share his life with me rather than replace me with new and exciting things that come his way. (Mark 10:7-9)
*A man of humility. (2 Chronicles 7:14, Psalm 25:9)
*Someone who isn't afraid to love me and knows he can trust me.(1 Corinthians 13:7)
*A Spiritual Leader. (Ephesians 5:22-24)
*Someone who stands for what is right, even if it's against his own friends and family with no exception for myself. He hates anything contrary to God's Holy character, including the subtle things and not just the obvious. (Romans 2:9-10)
*A man who will love me as Christ loved the Church. (Ephesians 5:25, 28-29)
*A man who will help me raise my son/children with the same values and morals that I believe in, understanding that the example they set is the strongest influence they could have on the child. (Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4)
*A man who will still look into my eyes with much love and admiration 10, 25, and 50 years after being together. (1 Corinthians 13:8,13)
*Someone who is beyond the stage of "finding themselves." That's doesn't mean they have to be set in their long-term career, sure of where they will live, or already own a house, etc--those things are led by God and could be changed at any point in a person's life. However, they must be sure that they are mature and responsible enough for a relationship before already making the commitment; in other words, he needs to be 100% sure of whether my son and I fit into his life BEFORE letting us in. I will not stand for my son's heart to be broken again. (Proverbs 20:24-25)
*Someone who means it when he says "forever." (Ecclesiastes 5:4-6)
*Someone who doesn't lose faith in us and always fights for our relationship along with me, no matter how challenging it may get. (1 Corinthians 13:7)
*Someone who doesn't try to make me feel guilty every time I'm hurt, or consciously provoke me to be even more upset. (Hebrews 10:24)
*A man who will always keep open communication with me, so that I can learn how to give him what he needs from me better. (Proverbs 18:2)
*Support and encouragement. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
*Someone who lifts me up in prayer every day, throughout the day, and on his own, free will (not out of obligation, but out of love and true concern for my well-being). (James 5:16)
*A loyal man. (Proverbs 18:24)
*Someone who doesn't let distance or time break us, should it ever become an issue. (Genesis 31:49, Joshua 1:9)
*Someone who values the family God gave him; is content and does not look for more than what the Lord has blessed Him with. (Ecclesiastes 5:18-20)
*A man who flees temptations to compromises, and encourages me to do the same (Proverbs 25:28).
*A man who truly listens to me; demonstrates that he pays attention to my wants and needs. Whether he can provide them for me is not the point--what matters is that he cares about my life, dreams, goals, etc. just as much as his own. (1 Timothy 5:8)
*A man who will hold me accountable for my own actions, temptations, behavior, sins, etc. (Galatians 6:1-2)
*A man who accepts that I'm not a very good cook, but I try. (:
*Someone who has a true relationship with God, spending time alone with Him on a daily basis. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
*A man of prayer. (Matthew 21:21-22)
*An imperfect man who tries to be as perfect and blameless in the sight of God. (Mark 10:18, 2 Peter 3:14)
*A man who believes that "divorce" is not a word in his vocabulary. (Malachi 2:16)
I *DON'T* WANT:
*A man to use my son as a way to get to my heart, it's a turn off. (Colossians 3:22-25)
*Someone willing to break mine and my son's heart in order to save himself from heartache. (Proverbs 18:1, Philippians 2:3-4, James 3:14-16)
*A man who makes promises without fulfillment. (Psalm 15:4)
*Someone who holds grudges. (Leviticus 19:18)
*A man full of pride for himself. (James 4:6, Proverbs 8:13, Proverbs 11:2, Proverbs 13:10, Proverbs 16:18, Proverbs 21:24, Proverbs 29:23)
*To be treated as a piece of meat. (Matthew 5:28)
*To have to compete for his attention.
*A man who drinks, not even socially. (Proverbs 20:1)
*Anyone who thinks "boys will be boys" is an okay motto to live by.
*A man who pursues other women at the same time that he is pursuing me, no matter how great or small the degree of the pursuance. He's either interested in me or someone else, but he can't be interested in both/all of us. It is a sign of immaturity, insecurity, lack of trust for God, and it leaves no room for the Lord to provide answers about one woman when he sets his eyes on multiple women. This also gives me, as a woman, a warning that the man may not be faithful/loyal. To put it bluntly, this clues me in that the man could be a player and not interested in either woman for the right reason, though he may have himself deceived that leaving his options open is okay and shouldn't be offensive to any of the women involved. (Ephesians 4:17-25, 1 Thessalonians 4:2-7)
*A man who takes the Lord's name in vain, both verbally and in the way he lives his life (i.e. claims the name of Christ but does not put 100% into trying to live a Christian life). (Matthew 15:8-9)
*A man who believes He is holier than others, regardless of how long He has been in the faith or what position He holds in the church. (Mark 10:18)
*Someone who is hasty to take advice, even from family and friends, without challenging it biblically to see whether the advice is holy or destructive. In other words, a man who trusts unwise counsel even from fellow Christians, and will follow after a wolf in sheep's clothing without questioning. Obviously I understand that we all make mistakes/wrong choices, but the point is that he must be slow and careful to receiving anybody's advice no matter how "right" it may seem. (Proverbs 12:15-16, Proverbs 14:7-8&15, Proverbs 16:1-2, 8-9,&16-25, Proverbs 27:5-6, &8-14, Acts 20:28-31, Romans 16:17-18, 1 Corinthians 3:1-3, Matthew 7:15-23, Mark10:7-9)
*A man who doesn't make an effort to take time out for me; that's not to say he must spend his entire time devoted to me. However, a successful relationship requires a certain level of priority which in turn requires some invested time. (1 Peter 3:7)
*A man who shares our personal issues with all of his friends and family (Proverbs 16:28, *20:19,* Matthew 18:15)
---
I'M NOT WHO I WAS
by Brandon Heath
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
I used to be mad at you
A little on the hurt side too
But I'm not who I was
I found my way around
To forgiving you
Some time ago
But I never got to tell you so
I found us in a photograph
I saw me and I had to laugh
You know, I'm not who I was
You were there, you were right above me
And I wonder if you ever loved me
Just for who I was
When the pain came back again
Like a bitter friend
It was all that I could do
To keep myself from blaming you
I reckon it's a funny thing
I figured out I can sing
Now I'm not who I was
I write about love and such
Maybe 'cause I want it so much
I'm not who I was
I was thinking maybe I
I should let you know
I am not the same
But I never did forget your name
Hello
Well the thing I find most amazing
In amazing grace
Is the chance to give it out
Maybe that's what love is all about
I wish you could see me now
I wish I could show you how
I'm not who I was
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
(In)secure Love
Reading this section came to me at the perfect time (earlier this week), enough said. This is, once again, from a book called Lady In Waiting by Jackie Kendall
Chapter 7 - "Lady of Security"
"Then he [Boaz] said, 'May you be blessed of the Lord, my daughter. You have shown your last kindness to be better thant he first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich. Now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence." Ruth 3:10-11
Ruth--single, young, and widowed--must have experienced the lonely longings for the warmth of a husband. But she lived in victory over the desire to "man hunt." Istead of "going after the boys," she sat still and let God bring her prince to her. She was a Lady of Security.
FEELINGS OF INSECURITY
Why do women tend to "go after the guys"? Why do women experience difficulty being still and waiting for the man to initiate and develop the relationship? You find the answer in one word: insecurity. An insecure woman has her world centered on something (marriage) or someone (Mr. Right) that can be lost or taken away. Insecurity keeps a woman from experiencing consistent joy even within a relationship because a man cannot provide security, only God can.
Insecurity causes you to cling to a relationship. You feel a lack of confidence unless you have a man. When he is not with you, you fear he will not come back or call again. You want him to make a commitment so you will not lose him. You want all his time and attention. All your dreams, plans, and goals revolve around him. Insecurity in a relationship can cause jealousy and bickering. It makes you lose your confidence when he looks at another woman. You want to know his plans and with whom he spends his time. You don't want him to be around other interesting or attractive women; you feel threatened when he is.
Insecurity can cause you to be demanding and have unrealistic expectations of your relationship. When he hurts or dissapoints you, you can be upset for days. You live with the fear of doing the wrong thing and losing him. You constantly feel the need to "define" your relationship and talk about your love for each other. You feel that you must show your love for him in greater and greater ways.
Insecurity fills the relationship with frustration and worry. You think, "I can't live with or without him!" You find yourself scheming to keep him...
BELIEVING A LIE
Why do women feel they have to go after men? Many women have believed a lie. They think, "I must get the best for myself because God may not give it to me." What do you think would have been the outcome of Ruth's life if she had chosen to believe this lie? Would she have returned home with Orpah and married one of the local guys? Would she have followed Naomi to a new land, but taken control of her own destiny in choosing a mate to care for herself and her mother-in-law? With these poor choices, her life of blessing and joy found in Boaz would not have happened and we would have missed the blessing of a book such as Ruth.
Ladies, God gives you the choice between His plans and yours. In the midst of her circumstances, Ruth could not have possibly seen that a man like Boaz would one day be her prince. Neither can you with your limited perspective see who or where your prince will be. Only God has all things in view. Are you trying to control your own life? Are you making plans for your life that only God should make? Don't settle for less than God's best. Surrender the terrible burden of always needing life on your terms. Don't look back one day and regret that you made your "life mate" choice from a limited perspective because you longed for the security of a relationship. God can and will give you His best if you wait for it.
MANIPULATION AND MANEUVERING
When you see a woman going after the guys, you probably don't immediately say, "Yes, I see that she really is insecure!" Insecurity dwells in the heart. What you see outwardly is a woman's age-old ability to manipulate and maneuver. When a woman manipulates a situation, she feels personal satisfaction because she believes she is in control...
Manipulation and maneuvering can also take the form of serving as a "surrogate (substitute) helpmeet." Many women want to marry as badly as they want to go to Heaven. They long to care for a man, so they run around tying to find at least a "generic" version of the real thing. These precious (but deceived) women constantly look for a man with a need and pounce on that need in hopes of eventually winning the affection of the man. Any male in need irresistibly attracts them...
MOTIVE CHECK
This is not to say that you cannot do nice things for a man; it is simply a warning to check your motives. A woman with selfish motivation mentally plots the next maneuver to capture the attention of the man of her dreams. Before you go to another activity to spend time with the available guys, as you check your hair and makeup and teeth, give yourself a thorough "heart flossing." Ask the Lord to reveal any impure motive that resides in your heart. Before you bake one more thing for a brother or purchase one more book or meaningful card, be very careful to check your motive and honestly respond to whatever the Lord shows you. You can save yourself many tears and much frustration if you are just willing to do a regular "motive check" on your heart.
To keep your motives pure, check them daily. Proverbs 16:2 says, "All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord."
Manipulation and maneuvering can be deadly. If you maneuver to get a man, you will have to maneuver to keep him! This is not implying that there is no work involved in a good relationship, but there is a huge difference between working and maneuvering. You recognize the difference between the two by discerning your motives. Refuse to be a member of the M/M (Manipulation and Maneuvering) Team!
Chapter 7 - "Lady of Security"
"Then he [Boaz] said, 'May you be blessed of the Lord, my daughter. You have shown your last kindness to be better thant he first by not going after young men, whether poor or rich. Now, my daughter, do not fear. I will do for you whatever you ask, for all my people in the city know that you are a woman of excellence." Ruth 3:10-11
Ruth--single, young, and widowed--must have experienced the lonely longings for the warmth of a husband. But she lived in victory over the desire to "man hunt." Istead of "going after the boys," she sat still and let God bring her prince to her. She was a Lady of Security.
FEELINGS OF INSECURITY
Why do women tend to "go after the guys"? Why do women experience difficulty being still and waiting for the man to initiate and develop the relationship? You find the answer in one word: insecurity. An insecure woman has her world centered on something (marriage) or someone (Mr. Right) that can be lost or taken away. Insecurity keeps a woman from experiencing consistent joy even within a relationship because a man cannot provide security, only God can.
Insecurity causes you to cling to a relationship. You feel a lack of confidence unless you have a man. When he is not with you, you fear he will not come back or call again. You want him to make a commitment so you will not lose him. You want all his time and attention. All your dreams, plans, and goals revolve around him. Insecurity in a relationship can cause jealousy and bickering. It makes you lose your confidence when he looks at another woman. You want to know his plans and with whom he spends his time. You don't want him to be around other interesting or attractive women; you feel threatened when he is.
Insecurity can cause you to be demanding and have unrealistic expectations of your relationship. When he hurts or dissapoints you, you can be upset for days. You live with the fear of doing the wrong thing and losing him. You constantly feel the need to "define" your relationship and talk about your love for each other. You feel that you must show your love for him in greater and greater ways.
Insecurity fills the relationship with frustration and worry. You think, "I can't live with or without him!" You find yourself scheming to keep him...
BELIEVING A LIE
Why do women feel they have to go after men? Many women have believed a lie. They think, "I must get the best for myself because God may not give it to me." What do you think would have been the outcome of Ruth's life if she had chosen to believe this lie? Would she have returned home with Orpah and married one of the local guys? Would she have followed Naomi to a new land, but taken control of her own destiny in choosing a mate to care for herself and her mother-in-law? With these poor choices, her life of blessing and joy found in Boaz would not have happened and we would have missed the blessing of a book such as Ruth.
Ladies, God gives you the choice between His plans and yours. In the midst of her circumstances, Ruth could not have possibly seen that a man like Boaz would one day be her prince. Neither can you with your limited perspective see who or where your prince will be. Only God has all things in view. Are you trying to control your own life? Are you making plans for your life that only God should make? Don't settle for less than God's best. Surrender the terrible burden of always needing life on your terms. Don't look back one day and regret that you made your "life mate" choice from a limited perspective because you longed for the security of a relationship. God can and will give you His best if you wait for it.
MANIPULATION AND MANEUVERING
When you see a woman going after the guys, you probably don't immediately say, "Yes, I see that she really is insecure!" Insecurity dwells in the heart. What you see outwardly is a woman's age-old ability to manipulate and maneuver. When a woman manipulates a situation, she feels personal satisfaction because she believes she is in control...
Manipulation and maneuvering can also take the form of serving as a "surrogate (substitute) helpmeet." Many women want to marry as badly as they want to go to Heaven. They long to care for a man, so they run around tying to find at least a "generic" version of the real thing. These precious (but deceived) women constantly look for a man with a need and pounce on that need in hopes of eventually winning the affection of the man. Any male in need irresistibly attracts them...
MOTIVE CHECK
This is not to say that you cannot do nice things for a man; it is simply a warning to check your motives. A woman with selfish motivation mentally plots the next maneuver to capture the attention of the man of her dreams. Before you go to another activity to spend time with the available guys, as you check your hair and makeup and teeth, give yourself a thorough "heart flossing." Ask the Lord to reveal any impure motive that resides in your heart. Before you bake one more thing for a brother or purchase one more book or meaningful card, be very careful to check your motive and honestly respond to whatever the Lord shows you. You can save yourself many tears and much frustration if you are just willing to do a regular "motive check" on your heart.
To keep your motives pure, check them daily. Proverbs 16:2 says, "All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the Lord."
Manipulation and maneuvering can be deadly. If you maneuver to get a man, you will have to maneuver to keep him! This is not implying that there is no work involved in a good relationship, but there is a huge difference between working and maneuvering. You recognize the difference between the two by discerning your motives. Refuse to be a member of the M/M (Manipulation and Maneuvering) Team!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Kisses For My Man
I love my morning time with God, and after this morning I knew I had to write a blog because I'm filled with so much peace and happiness right now. As many of you know, I've been struggling with letting go of past relationships for the last few months. I have prayed numerous times, literally on my knees and my face, pouring my heart out for God to take this pain away from me (as well as my son). We've had better days and worse days but I never let go of God and always trusted that He would work things out for both Gabe and I for the better, however that may be.
In the past week my heart has gradually let go of what I've been needing to let go of for a while. I can't explain why or how, but I do know that God's timing is perfect and He had a reason for waiting until this week to begin the healing process for me. My eyes have been opened to a lot of things and I've grown wiser about the situation. I am not filled with sorrow, I'm no longer scared to let go, and I am excited to see what God has planned for me next though I will wait patiently on Him. It is also a relief to see my son letting go, which makes the process for me a lot easier to accept. I still believe that if God willed it, it would happen. But I now see that there is a lot of growth that must develop first before that could ever happen and I'm not going to continue sitting around waiting to see if it will.
As I was reading in my book "Lady In Waiting" this morning, some really great verses popped out at me that I felt like sharing. I pray that they speak to you in whatever you're going through like they did to me.
"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, some how, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained." Philippians 3:10-16
"...But you have burdened me with your sins and wearied me with your offenses. I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case of your innocence." Isaiah 43:24-26
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons... No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees." Hebrews 12:1-8, 11-12
"Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God - I say this to your shame." 1 Corinthians 15:33-34
Finally, as one of our "homework projects" in the book, my assignment this morning was to "Write out what a kiss means to you. What are you wanting to say when you kiss a man? Is there any other way to say this? How could adding physical affection to a friendship limit communication-building?" I didn't answer this word-for-word, but I did write out my thoughts about kissing. Ladies, I thought you might appreciate reading what I wrote and could possibly relate and add to it via comments on my facebook posting. Men, I figured you may appreciate understanding what goes on in a woman's mind sometimes, if you truly care to know.;)
"Even though I have failed my own values I still believe that a kiss should not be given to just anybody; it is a sign of deep affection between a man and woman. A kiss must be trusted to the receiver, not to take the love it holds for granted. Every kiss that I have given has been taken for granted. For if it wasn't, I would still have that man to kiss today. Too many people throw kisses around that it has lost its value for many, even I have been found guilty of that. But God created it to be a passionate and sincere action, to show love to our brothers, our sisters, our parents, our children, our friends, and especially our spouse. When I kiss my husband some day, I will be showing him my loyalty and trust for him. In just one kiss, I will feel safe and secure with him. I have felt this with more than one man already, which shows how misleading a kiss can be if it is not led by God. In order to avoid making that same heart breaking mistake again, from now on I will entrust my heart to God and not to a man. I will save all of my kisses for the man whom God has revealed to me as the one that I share my life with. And when he kisses me, he will feel the same fire that I do and he'll never have the desire to kiss another woman again because our love will be centered around the Lord our God and not our lustful flesh."
In the past week my heart has gradually let go of what I've been needing to let go of for a while. I can't explain why or how, but I do know that God's timing is perfect and He had a reason for waiting until this week to begin the healing process for me. My eyes have been opened to a lot of things and I've grown wiser about the situation. I am not filled with sorrow, I'm no longer scared to let go, and I am excited to see what God has planned for me next though I will wait patiently on Him. It is also a relief to see my son letting go, which makes the process for me a lot easier to accept. I still believe that if God willed it, it would happen. But I now see that there is a lot of growth that must develop first before that could ever happen and I'm not going to continue sitting around waiting to see if it will.
As I was reading in my book "Lady In Waiting" this morning, some really great verses popped out at me that I felt like sharing. I pray that they speak to you in whatever you're going through like they did to me.
"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, some how, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained." Philippians 3:10-16
"...But you have burdened me with your sins and wearied me with your offenses. I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Review the past for me, let us argue the matter together; state the case of your innocence." Isaiah 43:24-26
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons... No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees." Hebrews 12:1-8, 11-12
"Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God - I say this to your shame." 1 Corinthians 15:33-34
Finally, as one of our "homework projects" in the book, my assignment this morning was to "Write out what a kiss means to you. What are you wanting to say when you kiss a man? Is there any other way to say this? How could adding physical affection to a friendship limit communication-building?" I didn't answer this word-for-word, but I did write out my thoughts about kissing. Ladies, I thought you might appreciate reading what I wrote and could possibly relate and add to it via comments on my facebook posting. Men, I figured you may appreciate understanding what goes on in a woman's mind sometimes, if you truly care to know.;)
"Even though I have failed my own values I still believe that a kiss should not be given to just anybody; it is a sign of deep affection between a man and woman. A kiss must be trusted to the receiver, not to take the love it holds for granted. Every kiss that I have given has been taken for granted. For if it wasn't, I would still have that man to kiss today. Too many people throw kisses around that it has lost its value for many, even I have been found guilty of that. But God created it to be a passionate and sincere action, to show love to our brothers, our sisters, our parents, our children, our friends, and especially our spouse. When I kiss my husband some day, I will be showing him my loyalty and trust for him. In just one kiss, I will feel safe and secure with him. I have felt this with more than one man already, which shows how misleading a kiss can be if it is not led by God. In order to avoid making that same heart breaking mistake again, from now on I will entrust my heart to God and not to a man. I will save all of my kisses for the man whom God has revealed to me as the one that I share my life with. And when he kisses me, he will feel the same fire that I do and he'll never have the desire to kiss another woman again because our love will be centered around the Lord our God and not our lustful flesh."
Saturday, October 17, 2009
We Still Must Make Sacrifices
I have been wanting to post about the sermon I heard last weekend, but school has kept me tangled up. Even now I'm having to set some studying aside in order to write this but I felt like I need to stop putting it off.
The message I heard was powerful. At least it spoke directly to my heart about a lot of things. It really gave me a new perspective on some things in my own life, and hopefully it will do the same for those of you reading this. I'll just copy the outline from my notes and hopefully you will able to follow along with it:
sermon: PREFER ONE ANOTHER
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:9-10
I) THE ATTITUDE OF PREFERING ONE ANOTHER
A) Prioritizing others - stop being selfish, self-centered, self-focused
1 Pet 4:10: "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms."
Proverbs 11:24-25: "One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but coes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes other will himself be refreshed."
Matthew 7:12: "So in evertyhing, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."
1 Cor 10:23-24: "'Everything is permissable' - but no everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible' - but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others."
Ephesians 4:29 & 32: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen... Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forigiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you."
Philippians 2:1-11, key is verses 3-5: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."
B) Dying to ourselves - get over ourselves
1 John 3:16 & 18: "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers... Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
C) Enjoy a healthy self-image - be balanced in your life.
How to maintain a healthy self-image:
1)Be comfortable in who you are IN JESUS CHRIST
2)Be confident in your relationship WITH JESUS CHRIST
3)Be secure in your FUTURE
II) THE ACTIONS OF PREFERING ONE ANOTHER
1) Be a listener and a learner.
2) Become PEOPLE oriented instead of TASK oriented.
William Gladstone, prime minister of the UK, began dating a woman and invited her to escort him to a party. At this party, he got caught up in discussing business with other people so much that he ended up asking his friend Benjamin Disraeli to make sure that his girlfriend gets home safely. Naturally, not long after the night that Benjamin drove this woman home, she ended her relationship with William and began dating Benjamin; a man who listened to her and made an extra effort to pay attention to her. When asked what made her choose to switch the guy she was dating, she answered, "With William, all I could think was, 'what a lucky guy he is!' But with Benjamin, all I could think was, 'what a lucky girl I am!'
3) Gain the rewards.
James 4:10: "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."
"The best growth God gives us is through our sacrifices for others."
The message I heard was powerful. At least it spoke directly to my heart about a lot of things. It really gave me a new perspective on some things in my own life, and hopefully it will do the same for those of you reading this. I'll just copy the outline from my notes and hopefully you will able to follow along with it:
sermon: PREFER ONE ANOTHER
"Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." Romans 12:9-10
I) THE ATTITUDE OF PREFERING ONE ANOTHER
A) Prioritizing others - stop being selfish, self-centered, self-focused
1 Pet 4:10: "Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms."
Proverbs 11:24-25: "One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but coes to poverty. A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes other will himself be refreshed."
Matthew 7:12: "So in evertyhing, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets."
1 Cor 10:23-24: "'Everything is permissable' - but no everything is beneficial. 'Everything is permissible' - but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others."
Ephesians 4:29 & 32: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen... Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forigiving each other, just as Christ God forgave you."
Philippians 2:1-11, key is verses 3-5: "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus."
B) Dying to ourselves - get over ourselves
1 John 3:16 & 18: "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers... Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
also read John 13:1-5
C) Enjoy a healthy self-image - be balanced in your life.
How to maintain a healthy self-image:
1)Be comfortable in who you are IN JESUS CHRIST
2)Be confident in your relationship WITH JESUS CHRIST
3)Be secure in your FUTURE
II) THE ACTIONS OF PREFERING ONE ANOTHER
1) Be a listener and a learner.
2) Become PEOPLE oriented instead of TASK oriented.
William Gladstone, prime minister of the UK, began dating a woman and invited her to escort him to a party. At this party, he got caught up in discussing business with other people so much that he ended up asking his friend Benjamin Disraeli to make sure that his girlfriend gets home safely. Naturally, not long after the night that Benjamin drove this woman home, she ended her relationship with William and began dating Benjamin; a man who listened to her and made an extra effort to pay attention to her. When asked what made her choose to switch the guy she was dating, she answered, "With William, all I could think was, 'what a lucky guy he is!' But with Benjamin, all I could think was, 'what a lucky girl I am!'
3) Gain the rewards.
James 4:10: "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up."
"The best growth God gives us is through our sacrifices for others."
Monday, September 14, 2009
Communicating With God
I wouldn't call myself a Woman of Prayer because I know a few "Women of Prayer" and I feel as though I could never come close to comparing to them. However, I will say that prayer is such a key part of my life and it seems to grow more and more essential, day by day. I can see such a difference between one day where I didn't do much praying if any at all, and a day that I spent most of my time praying. It really does make such a difference; prayer gives us hope, peace, love, appreciation, and so much more.
What exactly is prayer? Some may say it's just a ritual that we "Christians" follow in our religion. To be fair, some denominations do make prayer more of a ritual than what it is meant to be. Prayer is communication between us and God. It is the essence of our relationship with the Holy Father! Studying God's truth is extremely important, but we can't always stop what we're doing to read the Bible... Well, some people have the new Bible application on their iPhones so maybe they can, but for poor folks like me we can't stop in the middle of the grocery store and crack open our Bible's that we left at home or in the car, and just start studying away. Prayer, however, can be carried with us anywhere and everywhere we go. In the middle of a restaurant, I can pray. In the middle of school, I can pray. In the car while I'm driving, I can most definitely pray. And technically, nobody can take that right away from me. People may try, they may create laws that prohibit it, but they can't control my heart, my mind, and my spirit and that's where prayer is truly hidden, protected from sin. It isn't so much about the words that flow off your lips or the way your hands are folded, much less whether your eyes are opened or closed (if you pray in the car like me, I hope that you keep your eyes open). Prayer is an act of giving your heart to Christ. Whatever is weighing on it, you are freely handing it over to God and putting your faith in Him to take care of the rest.
If you don't have a relationship with God built on prayer, you won't understand the true depth of it. The acts of prayer are so broad, it is really interesting to see how God makes it possible for us to pray to Him in any given situation. If you feel the need to pray, there is always a way.
"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:18
"Pray continually." 1 Thessalonians 5:17, the King James Version says to "Pray without ceasing," meaning, don't stop praying. How do we consciously pray 24/7 non-stop? By submitting our hearts to God and always putting our faith in Him to guide and direct us. But there is a time and place for more solemn prayer. For example, if a friend is deathly ill and/or they don't know Jesus Christ as their Savior. Sure, God hears the simple, quick, and to-the-point prayers: "Lord, please show (friend's name) your power so that he/she may believe. Amen." But if you love that friend and really want to see them come to know the Lord, wouldn't you want to spend some extra time with God, selflessly lifting up your loved one to Him?
To me, prayer is not only a way of asking God for something. Prayer is my "phone call" to God. When I call a friend to pour my heart out to them, almost every time it is just therapy for me to get it all out so that I can hear for myself what is actually weighing on my heart. A lot of times I don't even need my friend to respond with advice, I just need an ear. God is so good and faithful to be that friend to us always, around the clock. At 4am, if you need a friend to talk to guess who is already awake with you. He is a great listener! But more importantly, He does talk back to us. Perhaps not in a voice that we can hear with worldy ears, but He does speak directly to our hearts. Many times I have been in a worked up state of emotions but as I turned to God I was overwhelmed with a calmed spirit. That's one way He talks to me; by controlling my emotions (woman may especially understand what a miracle that can be at times). Another way is through scripture. It never fails that when I pray for the Lord to speak to me about something specific, the next time I open the word or go to church, verses are flying at me that pertain to exactly what I requested. I shouldn't say "next time," because God does work in His own time table. There have been times that He made me wait for an answer, but His timing is perfect and there is always a reason that He chooses for us to wait. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
If you don't pray at all or often enough, I really encourage you to give it a try. Open you heart to God. It's okay to "test the waters." In it, you will find that your trial run has turned into faith. But you have to be completely open to letting Him prove Himself to you, for as long as you don't believe you will not find Him.
I feel like I haven't done a good enough job explaining myself. Then again, prayer is one of those things that run so deeply that you really have to experience it for yourself to truly understand it. Much like being in love, it's one of those things you can't understand until you're living it.
Finally, I'll leave you with some ideas that have kept me devoted to prayer and strengthens me even more:
*I'm exactly 50% Visual and 50% Auditory on learning. In other words, I learn/communicate best by seeing and hearing things. So for me, praying silently doesn't work too well unless it's one of those short prayers I mentioned earlier. When I try praying quietly I always end up losing my focus and start creating a to do list in my mind or day dreaming about my future husband, rather than talking to God. In order to avoid distractions, I keep a prayer journal. When I have the chance to, I write my prayers out in a notebook. This uses my visual learning style and it really does help me to stay focused. It also gives me more time to think about what I'm truly seeking God for. If I'm in the middle of doing something that keeps me from being able to write, I practice my auditory learning style by praying out loud. People must think I'm crazy when they drive past my car, because often times I am having a conversation with God.
*Listen to praise and worship music. This is like singing your praises to God, it's a musical way to communicate with Him. "Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, praise him with tambourine and dancing, praise him with the strings and flute. praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord." Psalm 150:3-6
*If you like reading, I recommend you check out "The Power of Praying" series written by Stormie Omartian. I have read two of her books, "The Power of a Praying Wife" and "The Power of a Praying Parent," both are excellent. I continue to read through the Praying Parent book and always will. If I ever get into another relationship, I will continue reading the Praying Wife book as it was not only good for married couples but for dating couples as well. I recently purchased "The Power of a Praying Woman Bible" which is NIV with side notes throughout the Bible for guidance on how to pray about a particular subject. Stormie's husband, Michael, has also written a few books, such as "The Power of a Praying Husband."
*If you're like me, you feel stuck at times about what to pray for. "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us..."Romans 8:26 First and foremost, a lot of times if you begin your prayer asking God for guidance in what to pray for, He will reveal it to you. Another thing that has helped me which I started a few years ago after going to one of Jackie Kennedy's seminars, is to create a prayer book. Take blank flash cards and on each one, write a certain person's name or subject that you should pray for and if you prefer, write the details of what you should pray for them. Put the index cards in a small 4x6 photo album and you have yourself a prayer book. Each morning or whenever, open the book, flip to the subject that is weighing most on your heart, and begin praying! This also helps to keep your prayer life structured.
*If you are a parent, try to wake up before your children do so that you can assure yourself alone time with God to pray but also pray with your children. My son is only 3 and I have already caught him praying on his own a few times because I also pray with him. If you work, set your alarm clock at least a half hour earlier than usual so that you can start your day out in prayer before heading into the world. If you're married or in a serious relationship, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray together! Make it a priority. Do not rely on your significant other for prayer, though. Spend your time separately with God, but definitely make a point to pray together as well as FOR each other.
*Most importantly, stay committed. Believe me when I say prayer changes lives. But once you start, you shouldn't stop because just as it increased your life, ceasing to pray can decrease your life. I know this from experience.
---
LIFE MEANS SO MUCH
by Chris Rice
Every day is a journal page
Every man holds a quill and ink
And there's plenty of room for writing in
All we do is believe and think
So will you compose a curse
Or will today bring the blessing
Fill the page with rhyming verse
Or some random sketching
Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
That somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Life means so much
Life means so much
Every day is a bank account
And time is our currency
So nobody's rich, nobody's poor
We get 24 hours each
So how are you gonna spend
Will you invest, or squander
Try to get ahead
Or help someone who's under
Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
That somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Life means so much
Life means so much
Has anybody ever lived who knew the value of a life
And don't you think giving is all
What proves the worth of yours and mine
Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
That somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Every day is a gift you've been given
Make the most of the time every minute you're living
What exactly is prayer? Some may say it's just a ritual that we "Christians" follow in our religion. To be fair, some denominations do make prayer more of a ritual than what it is meant to be. Prayer is communication between us and God. It is the essence of our relationship with the Holy Father! Studying God's truth is extremely important, but we can't always stop what we're doing to read the Bible... Well, some people have the new Bible application on their iPhones so maybe they can, but for poor folks like me we can't stop in the middle of the grocery store and crack open our Bible's that we left at home or in the car, and just start studying away. Prayer, however, can be carried with us anywhere and everywhere we go. In the middle of a restaurant, I can pray. In the middle of school, I can pray. In the car while I'm driving, I can most definitely pray. And technically, nobody can take that right away from me. People may try, they may create laws that prohibit it, but they can't control my heart, my mind, and my spirit and that's where prayer is truly hidden, protected from sin. It isn't so much about the words that flow off your lips or the way your hands are folded, much less whether your eyes are opened or closed (if you pray in the car like me, I hope that you keep your eyes open). Prayer is an act of giving your heart to Christ. Whatever is weighing on it, you are freely handing it over to God and putting your faith in Him to take care of the rest.
If you don't have a relationship with God built on prayer, you won't understand the true depth of it. The acts of prayer are so broad, it is really interesting to see how God makes it possible for us to pray to Him in any given situation. If you feel the need to pray, there is always a way.
"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:18
"Pray continually." 1 Thessalonians 5:17, the King James Version says to "Pray without ceasing," meaning, don't stop praying. How do we consciously pray 24/7 non-stop? By submitting our hearts to God and always putting our faith in Him to guide and direct us. But there is a time and place for more solemn prayer. For example, if a friend is deathly ill and/or they don't know Jesus Christ as their Savior. Sure, God hears the simple, quick, and to-the-point prayers: "Lord, please show (friend's name) your power so that he/she may believe. Amen." But if you love that friend and really want to see them come to know the Lord, wouldn't you want to spend some extra time with God, selflessly lifting up your loved one to Him?
To me, prayer is not only a way of asking God for something. Prayer is my "phone call" to God. When I call a friend to pour my heart out to them, almost every time it is just therapy for me to get it all out so that I can hear for myself what is actually weighing on my heart. A lot of times I don't even need my friend to respond with advice, I just need an ear. God is so good and faithful to be that friend to us always, around the clock. At 4am, if you need a friend to talk to guess who is already awake with you. He is a great listener! But more importantly, He does talk back to us. Perhaps not in a voice that we can hear with worldy ears, but He does speak directly to our hearts. Many times I have been in a worked up state of emotions but as I turned to God I was overwhelmed with a calmed spirit. That's one way He talks to me; by controlling my emotions (woman may especially understand what a miracle that can be at times). Another way is through scripture. It never fails that when I pray for the Lord to speak to me about something specific, the next time I open the word or go to church, verses are flying at me that pertain to exactly what I requested. I shouldn't say "next time," because God does work in His own time table. There have been times that He made me wait for an answer, but His timing is perfect and there is always a reason that He chooses for us to wait. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7
If you don't pray at all or often enough, I really encourage you to give it a try. Open you heart to God. It's okay to "test the waters." In it, you will find that your trial run has turned into faith. But you have to be completely open to letting Him prove Himself to you, for as long as you don't believe you will not find Him.
I feel like I haven't done a good enough job explaining myself. Then again, prayer is one of those things that run so deeply that you really have to experience it for yourself to truly understand it. Much like being in love, it's one of those things you can't understand until you're living it.
Finally, I'll leave you with some ideas that have kept me devoted to prayer and strengthens me even more:
*I'm exactly 50% Visual and 50% Auditory on learning. In other words, I learn/communicate best by seeing and hearing things. So for me, praying silently doesn't work too well unless it's one of those short prayers I mentioned earlier. When I try praying quietly I always end up losing my focus and start creating a to do list in my mind or day dreaming about my future husband, rather than talking to God. In order to avoid distractions, I keep a prayer journal. When I have the chance to, I write my prayers out in a notebook. This uses my visual learning style and it really does help me to stay focused. It also gives me more time to think about what I'm truly seeking God for. If I'm in the middle of doing something that keeps me from being able to write, I practice my auditory learning style by praying out loud. People must think I'm crazy when they drive past my car, because often times I am having a conversation with God.
*Listen to praise and worship music. This is like singing your praises to God, it's a musical way to communicate with Him. "Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, praise him with tambourine and dancing, praise him with the strings and flute. praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord." Psalm 150:3-6
*If you like reading, I recommend you check out "The Power of Praying" series written by Stormie Omartian. I have read two of her books, "The Power of a Praying Wife" and "The Power of a Praying Parent," both are excellent. I continue to read through the Praying Parent book and always will. If I ever get into another relationship, I will continue reading the Praying Wife book as it was not only good for married couples but for dating couples as well. I recently purchased "The Power of a Praying Woman Bible" which is NIV with side notes throughout the Bible for guidance on how to pray about a particular subject. Stormie's husband, Michael, has also written a few books, such as "The Power of a Praying Husband."
*If you're like me, you feel stuck at times about what to pray for. "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us..."Romans 8:26 First and foremost, a lot of times if you begin your prayer asking God for guidance in what to pray for, He will reveal it to you. Another thing that has helped me which I started a few years ago after going to one of Jackie Kennedy's seminars, is to create a prayer book. Take blank flash cards and on each one, write a certain person's name or subject that you should pray for and if you prefer, write the details of what you should pray for them. Put the index cards in a small 4x6 photo album and you have yourself a prayer book. Each morning or whenever, open the book, flip to the subject that is weighing most on your heart, and begin praying! This also helps to keep your prayer life structured.
*If you are a parent, try to wake up before your children do so that you can assure yourself alone time with God to pray but also pray with your children. My son is only 3 and I have already caught him praying on his own a few times because I also pray with him. If you work, set your alarm clock at least a half hour earlier than usual so that you can start your day out in prayer before heading into the world. If you're married or in a serious relationship, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray together! Make it a priority. Do not rely on your significant other for prayer, though. Spend your time separately with God, but definitely make a point to pray together as well as FOR each other.
*Most importantly, stay committed. Believe me when I say prayer changes lives. But once you start, you shouldn't stop because just as it increased your life, ceasing to pray can decrease your life. I know this from experience.
---
LIFE MEANS SO MUCH
by Chris Rice
Every day is a journal page
Every man holds a quill and ink
And there's plenty of room for writing in
All we do is believe and think
So will you compose a curse
Or will today bring the blessing
Fill the page with rhyming verse
Or some random sketching
Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
That somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Life means so much
Life means so much
Every day is a bank account
And time is our currency
So nobody's rich, nobody's poor
We get 24 hours each
So how are you gonna spend
Will you invest, or squander
Try to get ahead
Or help someone who's under
Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
That somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Life means so much
Life means so much
Has anybody ever lived who knew the value of a life
And don't you think giving is all
What proves the worth of yours and mine
Teach us to count the days
Teach us to make the days count
Lead us in better ways
That somehow our souls forgot
Life means so much
Every day is a gift you've been given
Make the most of the time every minute you're living
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Where's The Love?
I just finished watching A Walk To Remember which is one of my favorite chick flicks. A few tears later I found myself reflecting on the excellent Bible Study 6 of us women had last night. We had a wonderful talk about our female emotions, feelings, etc. and how God designed us specifically that way. I've been piecing together some of the things that were said in order to summarize everything up in my head.
"The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him...' So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,'' for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Gen 2:20-24
In the beginning of the word, at the beginning of creation, our role as women was very clearly stated. We were placed on this earth to be man's helper. That does not mean we should be slaves, mistreated, used for pleasure, etc. But when you think about it, that explains why men have the desires for women that they do. Unfortunately, this sinful world has taught both men AND women that respect is not necessary so long as pleasure is being fulfilled which is where "one night stands," "home wreckers," etc. derive from. What a selfish world this has become but a what a beautiful thing God originally created that we can still achieve in our own personal lives if we truly seek a Godly love.
To some women, the thought of belonging on earth for man's sake is degrading. To me, there is nothing more romantic. Don't get me wrong, CLEARLY I don't believe a woman's place is only in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. Otherwise I wouldn't be working my butt off to get through college right now. But our ultimate purpose for existing is to serve our men while they protect God's world. Again, this does not mean women can't have their own ministry for God's people across the world. Otherwise I wouldn't be praying for a chance to go on mission trips at some point in my life. But the greatest ministry that God gave us as soon as He created us was to serve our husbands and our family. This is one of the most important and hardest jobs that exist on earth.
"...She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household;for all of them are clothed in scarlet... Her husband is respected at the city gate... She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." Proverbs 31:20-31
For years I've been in love with Proverbs 31 and for years I've prayed that God would mold me into that woman. In writing, becoming like her may sound like a simple task to achieve but for me personally, it has been one of the greatest challenges of my life. Verse 10 asks the question, "who can find a noble wife?" In the King James version it calls her a "Virtuous Woman." It goes on to say that she is more valuable than rubies. If that doesn't say something about how rare and beautiful this woman is then I'm not sure what does.
Paul encourages people to remain single for as long as they can contain their sexual desires (1 Cor 7:8-9) so clearly I'm not claiming that women HAVE to get married and HAVE to have a family. God's purpose for each person is different. But the point is, our original purpose for our place on earth was to fulfill man's life. Therefore, because we were created like so we were also designed to react in certain ways, hope for certain feelings, want certain things, desire certain attention, and be filled with the strongest emotion of them all: LOVE!
I am always amused when men say they don't understand women. It's true, we are odd creatures who require detailed instructions in order to properly maintain us. If men would just READ THE MANUAL more often, they might not be so confused. More seriously, last night we touched on some pretty strong points about things that could come across silly but are truly very natural feelings for us. Within moderation, that is. The first point is that women like to feel as if they are the only person capable of changing their man's life. In other words, they want to feel like they made a life-changing difference in their significant other's world. The reason, I believe, stems back to the purpose God created us in the first place; Eve made a difference in Adam's life. That's not including when she ate the fruit and sinned. When we know we've touched a man's life for good then we know we did our job right. We want to feel like one certain man can't live without us after we've crossed his path. Unfortunately, some ladies may never be told how special they are by their own husband. Others may have more than one man tell them that, which can cause more confusion than good. But when the two are truly seeking God, they will know when that feeling is right. Have you ever noticed how "bad boys" always seem to get the girl? As a young lady, I chose to date those guys myself. The intentions behind it were pure, though I didn't understand it at the time. I saw clearly a *boy* who "needed me" and so I committed myself to being that special *girl* who would change his life forever, from bad to good. I was fulfilling a typical female fantasy. However, I was following my own heart rather than God's will and chose the wrong guys to devote my time to. In the end, I was the one who ended up changing me from good to bad.
Another good point made from last night's study was how we long for men to fall in love with the small and simple things about us. This shows us that they pay attention to every detail. For example, I never even knew I had "sunflowers" in my eyes until one man looked lovingly into them. Likewise, remembering what our favorite dessert is or what our life long dreams are make all the difference in a woman's heart. That's what I love so much about the movie that I watched today. Landon, the boy pursuing Mandy Moore's character, pours his heart and soul into fulfilling her wish list. It wasn't anything extravagant, but he took the time and effort to do them in order to make her feel special. Many relationships lose this flame after the first year or so of being together because they've grown comfortable with each other and the relationship has become second nature to them. But it really is critical to continue this one simple tradition in order to keep the woman's heart captivated. Meanwhile, the woman should pursue an interest in the man's hobbies too. Putting into practice this never-ending circle creates a firm foundation for a beautiful relationship.
I won't touch on all of the points we made last night because there were so many, but the final one I will mention is how a woman wants to feel like her man would give anything, including his life, in order to maintain her best interest. This sounds a little selfish, doesn't it? But it's not. It is very natural. I can't speak for every woman, but I think it's safe to say that MOST of us don't really want our men to kill themselves just to prove their love to us. It's the security we feel behind the thought of it that makes the difference. Knowing that he will put us before himself and devote his life to protecting us... wow, what love! Nothing melts a woman's heart more than feeling like the queen in her man's life. I have two friends that have been married for about 3 years and it feels like I'm reading a romance novel whenever I see their statuses on facebook. He talks about how much he enjoyed spending time with his wife all the time, and she talks about how lucky she is to have him. It makes me feel proud to call him my (adopted) brother! It also gives me hope for myself some day. If you have that kind of love be proud to share it for others! Set the example, Lord knows so many relationships out there need the encouragement.
Here's the cool part! Everything I touched on can be fulfilled in ever single woman (and man) instantaneously when they ask the Lord into their heart. He is the ultimate Prince Charming to ever exist. Don't feel as though you're nothing to God. Every person who devotes their life to serving Him makes a difference in God's heart. He longs for our love and devotion! He pays attention to every little detail about us. In fact, He is the one who created us just as we are, including the sunflowers in our eyes. He knows our heart's desires; our dreams, our needs, our wants and wishes, and He is capable of giving it to us ("Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."Psalm 37:4). More importantly, His love is so powerful that He in fact DID die for us! He will be the only man to make such a huge sacrifice for me which means that no one deserves my love and service as much as He does.
So all of you fellow single people, fear not. You're not alone if you accept the greatest love into your heart and allow God to be your one and only. All of your emptiness will be fulfilled. I believe that anyone who desires a marriage some day, God will bless in His timing. This means, from my experience, it will happen after you have first established your relationship with God and made a place for Him that no man or woman will ever be able to replace--no matter how deep your love for them goes. My favorite proverb is "A woman should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him in order to find her." This is so true and so important for both the male and female gender. Where should the woman's heart be hidden BEFORE she is discovered by her lover? In God. Where should the man go first to find her? To God. Amen.
I had a male friend tell me this week that he is dating Jesus. I just thought that was the coolest thing to hear a guy say! It's so simple, yet so profound and humbling to hear a man confess. We all ought to have this attitude. I am and always will be content with my Lord and Savior. It is in His time that I will find my Boaz, and I will wait patiently for that day.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
---
ONLY HOPE
by Mandy Moore
There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over and over again
So, I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope
Sing to me the song of the stars
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now, you're my only hope
I give you my destiny
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope
"The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him...' So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,'' for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Gen 2:20-24
In the beginning of the word, at the beginning of creation, our role as women was very clearly stated. We were placed on this earth to be man's helper. That does not mean we should be slaves, mistreated, used for pleasure, etc. But when you think about it, that explains why men have the desires for women that they do. Unfortunately, this sinful world has taught both men AND women that respect is not necessary so long as pleasure is being fulfilled which is where "one night stands," "home wreckers," etc. derive from. What a selfish world this has become but a what a beautiful thing God originally created that we can still achieve in our own personal lives if we truly seek a Godly love.
To some women, the thought of belonging on earth for man's sake is degrading. To me, there is nothing more romantic. Don't get me wrong, CLEARLY I don't believe a woman's place is only in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. Otherwise I wouldn't be working my butt off to get through college right now. But our ultimate purpose for existing is to serve our men while they protect God's world. Again, this does not mean women can't have their own ministry for God's people across the world. Otherwise I wouldn't be praying for a chance to go on mission trips at some point in my life. But the greatest ministry that God gave us as soon as He created us was to serve our husbands and our family. This is one of the most important and hardest jobs that exist on earth.
"...She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household;for all of them are clothed in scarlet... Her husband is respected at the city gate... She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." Proverbs 31:20-31
For years I've been in love with Proverbs 31 and for years I've prayed that God would mold me into that woman. In writing, becoming like her may sound like a simple task to achieve but for me personally, it has been one of the greatest challenges of my life. Verse 10 asks the question, "who can find a noble wife?" In the King James version it calls her a "Virtuous Woman." It goes on to say that she is more valuable than rubies. If that doesn't say something about how rare and beautiful this woman is then I'm not sure what does.
Paul encourages people to remain single for as long as they can contain their sexual desires (1 Cor 7:8-9) so clearly I'm not claiming that women HAVE to get married and HAVE to have a family. God's purpose for each person is different. But the point is, our original purpose for our place on earth was to fulfill man's life. Therefore, because we were created like so we were also designed to react in certain ways, hope for certain feelings, want certain things, desire certain attention, and be filled with the strongest emotion of them all: LOVE!
I am always amused when men say they don't understand women. It's true, we are odd creatures who require detailed instructions in order to properly maintain us. If men would just READ THE MANUAL more often, they might not be so confused. More seriously, last night we touched on some pretty strong points about things that could come across silly but are truly very natural feelings for us. Within moderation, that is. The first point is that women like to feel as if they are the only person capable of changing their man's life. In other words, they want to feel like they made a life-changing difference in their significant other's world. The reason, I believe, stems back to the purpose God created us in the first place; Eve made a difference in Adam's life. That's not including when she ate the fruit and sinned. When we know we've touched a man's life for good then we know we did our job right. We want to feel like one certain man can't live without us after we've crossed his path. Unfortunately, some ladies may never be told how special they are by their own husband. Others may have more than one man tell them that, which can cause more confusion than good. But when the two are truly seeking God, they will know when that feeling is right. Have you ever noticed how "bad boys" always seem to get the girl? As a young lady, I chose to date those guys myself. The intentions behind it were pure, though I didn't understand it at the time. I saw clearly a *boy* who "needed me" and so I committed myself to being that special *girl* who would change his life forever, from bad to good. I was fulfilling a typical female fantasy. However, I was following my own heart rather than God's will and chose the wrong guys to devote my time to. In the end, I was the one who ended up changing me from good to bad.
Another good point made from last night's study was how we long for men to fall in love with the small and simple things about us. This shows us that they pay attention to every detail. For example, I never even knew I had "sunflowers" in my eyes until one man looked lovingly into them. Likewise, remembering what our favorite dessert is or what our life long dreams are make all the difference in a woman's heart. That's what I love so much about the movie that I watched today. Landon, the boy pursuing Mandy Moore's character, pours his heart and soul into fulfilling her wish list. It wasn't anything extravagant, but he took the time and effort to do them in order to make her feel special. Many relationships lose this flame after the first year or so of being together because they've grown comfortable with each other and the relationship has become second nature to them. But it really is critical to continue this one simple tradition in order to keep the woman's heart captivated. Meanwhile, the woman should pursue an interest in the man's hobbies too. Putting into practice this never-ending circle creates a firm foundation for a beautiful relationship.
I won't touch on all of the points we made last night because there were so many, but the final one I will mention is how a woman wants to feel like her man would give anything, including his life, in order to maintain her best interest. This sounds a little selfish, doesn't it? But it's not. It is very natural. I can't speak for every woman, but I think it's safe to say that MOST of us don't really want our men to kill themselves just to prove their love to us. It's the security we feel behind the thought of it that makes the difference. Knowing that he will put us before himself and devote his life to protecting us... wow, what love! Nothing melts a woman's heart more than feeling like the queen in her man's life. I have two friends that have been married for about 3 years and it feels like I'm reading a romance novel whenever I see their statuses on facebook. He talks about how much he enjoyed spending time with his wife all the time, and she talks about how lucky she is to have him. It makes me feel proud to call him my (adopted) brother! It also gives me hope for myself some day. If you have that kind of love be proud to share it for others! Set the example, Lord knows so many relationships out there need the encouragement.
Here's the cool part! Everything I touched on can be fulfilled in ever single woman (and man) instantaneously when they ask the Lord into their heart. He is the ultimate Prince Charming to ever exist. Don't feel as though you're nothing to God. Every person who devotes their life to serving Him makes a difference in God's heart. He longs for our love and devotion! He pays attention to every little detail about us. In fact, He is the one who created us just as we are, including the sunflowers in our eyes. He knows our heart's desires; our dreams, our needs, our wants and wishes, and He is capable of giving it to us ("Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."Psalm 37:4). More importantly, His love is so powerful that He in fact DID die for us! He will be the only man to make such a huge sacrifice for me which means that no one deserves my love and service as much as He does.
So all of you fellow single people, fear not. You're not alone if you accept the greatest love into your heart and allow God to be your one and only. All of your emptiness will be fulfilled. I believe that anyone who desires a marriage some day, God will bless in His timing. This means, from my experience, it will happen after you have first established your relationship with God and made a place for Him that no man or woman will ever be able to replace--no matter how deep your love for them goes. My favorite proverb is "A woman should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him in order to find her." This is so true and so important for both the male and female gender. Where should the woman's heart be hidden BEFORE she is discovered by her lover? In God. Where should the man go first to find her? To God. Amen.
I had a male friend tell me this week that he is dating Jesus. I just thought that was the coolest thing to hear a guy say! It's so simple, yet so profound and humbling to hear a man confess. We all ought to have this attitude. I am and always will be content with my Lord and Savior. It is in His time that I will find my Boaz, and I will wait patiently for that day.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
---
ONLY HOPE
by Mandy Moore
There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over and over again
So, I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope
Sing to me the song of the stars
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now, you're my only hope
I give you my destiny
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope
Thursday, September 3, 2009
No Need To Say Goodbye
THE CALL
by Regina Spektor
(from the Narnia: Prince Caspian move, which is one of the best)
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before
All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye
You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye
Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye
by Regina Spektor
(from the Narnia: Prince Caspian move, which is one of the best)
It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before
All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye
You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye
Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye
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