I just finished watching A Walk To Remember which is one of my favorite chick flicks. A few tears later I found myself reflecting on the excellent Bible Study 6 of us women had last night. We had a wonderful talk about our female emotions, feelings, etc. and how God designed us specifically that way. I've been piecing together some of the things that were said in order to summarize everything up in my head.
"The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him...' So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field. But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,'' for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." Gen 2:20-24
In the beginning of the word, at the beginning of creation, our role as women was very clearly stated. We were placed on this earth to be man's helper. That does not mean we should be slaves, mistreated, used for pleasure, etc. But when you think about it, that explains why men have the desires for women that they do. Unfortunately, this sinful world has taught both men AND women that respect is not necessary so long as pleasure is being fulfilled which is where "one night stands," "home wreckers," etc. derive from. What a selfish world this has become but a what a beautiful thing God originally created that we can still achieve in our own personal lives if we truly seek a Godly love.
To some women, the thought of belonging on earth for man's sake is degrading. To me, there is nothing more romantic. Don't get me wrong, CLEARLY I don't believe a woman's place is only in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. Otherwise I wouldn't be working my butt off to get through college right now. But our ultimate purpose for existing is to serve our men while they protect God's world. Again, this does not mean women can't have their own ministry for God's people across the world. Otherwise I wouldn't be praying for a chance to go on mission trips at some point in my life. But the greatest ministry that God gave us as soon as He created us was to serve our husbands and our family. This is one of the most important and hardest jobs that exist on earth.
"...She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household;for all of them are clothed in scarlet... Her husband is respected at the city gate... She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate." Proverbs 31:20-31
For years I've been in love with Proverbs 31 and for years I've prayed that God would mold me into that woman. In writing, becoming like her may sound like a simple task to achieve but for me personally, it has been one of the greatest challenges of my life. Verse 10 asks the question, "who can find a noble wife?" In the King James version it calls her a "Virtuous Woman." It goes on to say that she is more valuable than rubies. If that doesn't say something about how rare and beautiful this woman is then I'm not sure what does.
Paul encourages people to remain single for as long as they can contain their sexual desires (1 Cor 7:8-9) so clearly I'm not claiming that women HAVE to get married and HAVE to have a family. God's purpose for each person is different. But the point is, our original purpose for our place on earth was to fulfill man's life. Therefore, because we were created like so we were also designed to react in certain ways, hope for certain feelings, want certain things, desire certain attention, and be filled with the strongest emotion of them all: LOVE!
I am always amused when men say they don't understand women. It's true, we are odd creatures who require detailed instructions in order to properly maintain us. If men would just READ THE MANUAL more often, they might not be so confused. More seriously, last night we touched on some pretty strong points about things that could come across silly but are truly very natural feelings for us. Within moderation, that is. The first point is that women like to feel as if they are the only person capable of changing their man's life. In other words, they want to feel like they made a life-changing difference in their significant other's world. The reason, I believe, stems back to the purpose God created us in the first place; Eve made a difference in Adam's life. That's not including when she ate the fruit and sinned. When we know we've touched a man's life for good then we know we did our job right. We want to feel like one certain man can't live without us after we've crossed his path. Unfortunately, some ladies may never be told how special they are by their own husband. Others may have more than one man tell them that, which can cause more confusion than good. But when the two are truly seeking God, they will know when that feeling is right. Have you ever noticed how "bad boys" always seem to get the girl? As a young lady, I chose to date those guys myself. The intentions behind it were pure, though I didn't understand it at the time. I saw clearly a *boy* who "needed me" and so I committed myself to being that special *girl* who would change his life forever, from bad to good. I was fulfilling a typical female fantasy. However, I was following my own heart rather than God's will and chose the wrong guys to devote my time to. In the end, I was the one who ended up changing me from good to bad.
Another good point made from last night's study was how we long for men to fall in love with the small and simple things about us. This shows us that they pay attention to every detail. For example, I never even knew I had "sunflowers" in my eyes until one man looked lovingly into them. Likewise, remembering what our favorite dessert is or what our life long dreams are make all the difference in a woman's heart. That's what I love so much about the movie that I watched today. Landon, the boy pursuing Mandy Moore's character, pours his heart and soul into fulfilling her wish list. It wasn't anything extravagant, but he took the time and effort to do them in order to make her feel special. Many relationships lose this flame after the first year or so of being together because they've grown comfortable with each other and the relationship has become second nature to them. But it really is critical to continue this one simple tradition in order to keep the woman's heart captivated. Meanwhile, the woman should pursue an interest in the man's hobbies too. Putting into practice this never-ending circle creates a firm foundation for a beautiful relationship.
I won't touch on all of the points we made last night because there were so many, but the final one I will mention is how a woman wants to feel like her man would give anything, including his life, in order to maintain her best interest. This sounds a little selfish, doesn't it? But it's not. It is very natural. I can't speak for every woman, but I think it's safe to say that MOST of us don't really want our men to kill themselves just to prove their love to us. It's the security we feel behind the thought of it that makes the difference. Knowing that he will put us before himself and devote his life to protecting us... wow, what love! Nothing melts a woman's heart more than feeling like the queen in her man's life. I have two friends that have been married for about 3 years and it feels like I'm reading a romance novel whenever I see their statuses on facebook. He talks about how much he enjoyed spending time with his wife all the time, and she talks about how lucky she is to have him. It makes me feel proud to call him my (adopted) brother! It also gives me hope for myself some day. If you have that kind of love be proud to share it for others! Set the example, Lord knows so many relationships out there need the encouragement.
Here's the cool part! Everything I touched on can be fulfilled in ever single woman (and man) instantaneously when they ask the Lord into their heart. He is the ultimate Prince Charming to ever exist. Don't feel as though you're nothing to God. Every person who devotes their life to serving Him makes a difference in God's heart. He longs for our love and devotion! He pays attention to every little detail about us. In fact, He is the one who created us just as we are, including the sunflowers in our eyes. He knows our heart's desires; our dreams, our needs, our wants and wishes, and He is capable of giving it to us ("Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."Psalm 37:4). More importantly, His love is so powerful that He in fact DID die for us! He will be the only man to make such a huge sacrifice for me which means that no one deserves my love and service as much as He does.
So all of you fellow single people, fear not. You're not alone if you accept the greatest love into your heart and allow God to be your one and only. All of your emptiness will be fulfilled. I believe that anyone who desires a marriage some day, God will bless in His timing. This means, from my experience, it will happen after you have first established your relationship with God and made a place for Him that no man or woman will ever be able to replace--no matter how deep your love for them goes. My favorite proverb is "A woman should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him in order to find her." This is so true and so important for both the male and female gender. Where should the woman's heart be hidden BEFORE she is discovered by her lover? In God. Where should the man go first to find her? To God. Amen.
I had a male friend tell me this week that he is dating Jesus. I just thought that was the coolest thing to hear a guy say! It's so simple, yet so profound and humbling to hear a man confess. We all ought to have this attitude. I am and always will be content with my Lord and Savior. It is in His time that I will find my Boaz, and I will wait patiently for that day.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails..." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
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ONLY HOPE
by Mandy Moore
There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But you sing to me over and over and over again
So, I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope
Sing to me the song of the stars
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now, you're my only hope
I give you my destiny
I'm giving you all of me
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs, I'm giving it back
So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope
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