Deep Consideration

There are many issues going on from every aspect of my life that make it feel like living in this place much longer is only going to burry me deeper into pain, trouble, worries, etc. I have too much history in this place, yet as many faces as I know around here I am very lonely in this town. I really believe the only way I'm going to be able to move on with my life is if I'm able to go somewhere and start all over.. How will I do that? Well, that's where faith comes in. I know that for one thing, going to school full time might help me in the long run but I don't have the same life most 23 year olds do where I can afford to take my time getting through school. I have a 2 year old (almost 3!!) who depends on me and this place is not helping me to raise him like I should be. If putting school on hold in order to do the best I can by my son alone is what I need to do, then I will do it. Where will I go? I've had some thoughts. I know that I miss Texas very much and I happen to know of a great college in Houston where my Aunt got her nursing degree. It would definitely be a step away from home. I could go to TN and be closer to my neices and nephews, as well as a few friends I have living around there. There's GA where I wouldn't know a single soul, but it would be quite the adventure to start off 100% fresh. Maybe CA where my cousins live who I've wanted very badly to grow closer with. Or I could go to Tampa, continue for nursing there, and be closer to my friend Amy.:) The only problem is, at this point Tampa feels like it's too close to home still. I really feel a desire to get far away from everything and start off brand new. At this point, it's the only way I can see myself surviving and my faith in God would definitely be strengthened. Clearly a specific location hasn't been decided. This is all just a thought in my head but I don't believe it's been placed there on accident. It might just form into a more serious plan, depending on the doors God will open and close for me. I know a lot of you aren't happy about this idea but I trust that most of you will want what's best for me, so just do me a favor and keep me in your prayers a lot. I definitely could use them!

I've had this song in my head all day so far...

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
And you begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And would I have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And I pray to God he hears you
And I pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And would I have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
You will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And would I have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life